Please stop trying to sell me a Palm Pre.  You frighten me with your translucent skin and your acid flashback stories and your piercing demon eyes.

“The other day… I was walking in the park… after lunch.  When I saw this a juggler.  She was very good.  And the weird thing was, the more balls she had up in the error, the easier she made it look.  It was a feeling I knew, like Deja Vu.”

You are not only creepy, you are a liar.  I know this is  for several reasons.  First, you were not walking in the park.  Your skin tone suggests that you haven’t been outdoors in nearly a decade.  Nor did this take place after lunch.  Unless by ‘lunch’ you meant when you’re intravenously fed a solution of nutrients and sedatives.

Please do not come back on my television screen.  I only purchase phones from flesh-and-blood people who can prove their humanity by stealing other people’s livers.

Sincerely,

Dan